Friends

I have a group of friends that I've known for over ten years now, yet I still feel like I don't know them. I've been included in this group and they invite me to events, but not so much lately. I guess they think that since I have no children I wouldn't want to go to any of their "kid parties." No, sorry, that just makes me feel even more like a weirdo than I already am.

 It's okay. I can't be upset with the way they feel. However, I do feel upset at times at the way I feel. Back in the day it was totally fun hanging out with them. I had energy and I was young. Now, staying out late just irritates me and makes me wish I never had these friends and that's a horrible thought because I DO want these friends. That idea just tends to circulate in my mind as a solution to the friction I have about their favorite activities.

You see, I have no interest anymore to get "wasted." Getting wasted hurts for days now instead of "a day." Wearing heels hurts. Spending the night at someone else's house hurts. I just can't do it anymore. I won't even stay at a hotel if I don't have to. I have a bed. I have a home. I have alcohol and music at home. And, bottom line . . . I am married. All that stuff--partying and clubbing and getting drunk are a waste of my time. I'm over it.

Over the years I learned that not saying anything is also in effect saying something. But, I'm tire of not saying anything because it leaves everyone else's mind to think that you don't have one. So, in a posting I told the truth. I said that I get tired of staying out. It's true and it felt peaceful to be honest. I worry that these friends are going to hate me now, but something inside me says that it is better to be honest and for them to hate me for it than to give them an dishonest answer and hate me for it.

Tootles.